Picking seats is a science not an art

I am not talking about the seat picking involving uncomfortable
britches here. I'm talking about the seat you sit in. Whether it's in
a classroom, at the movies, on the bus or in a plane; you are
practicing the science of seat picking. Art is subjective and
requires emotion and feelings. Science is methodical and rational.
When picking your seating you are actually performing several
evaluations quickly in your mind before you settle down.

1) The seat environment
First you must determine the seating environment for you situation.
Are you in a classroom? If yes, you don't want to sit next to any
crazy looking people, not in a location that is too hot or too cold,
not too close to the front or too far back. If you are on a bus or
transit, you want to be close enough to the door relative to how close
or far your stop is. You definitlely want to avoid any dirty or sticky
looking seats. Watch out for transients, gangsters or crazy people.
If you are on a plane you have two options- some airlines have
assigned seating in which I suggest www.seatguru.com. If you fly
Southwest then you should check in online early and print your
boarding pass the day before. Note that as you board open seating
planes it's obvoius that you want a window or aisle, near or in a exit
row (leg room) and in the front (more comfortable and less noisy. Note
that drunk people can be removed from the flight during boarding if a
flight attendant is notified (ask me about my recent experience).

2) The type of seat
Next part of the process involves an evaluation of the seat itself.
What is the material and design of the chair. Is it a plain wood one?
Does it have armrests? Is it vinyl, fabric, leather or plastic?
Folding chairs, no matter how much padding, are rarely comfortable. In
a classroom setting, look out for left or right hand specific chairs.
Chances are there are only one or two seats for lefties so if you are
not left handed don't use it (we lefties hate that).

What are your tips and methods for picking seats? Any crazy stories?